i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
