I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My bed smells like the plague
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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