do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
