I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My vagina is officially offended.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize
