from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
