this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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