Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
