we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
