Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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