So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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