The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
