she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
