yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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