So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
