i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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