so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
