Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
