we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
