it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
nut hugger
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
