addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
