Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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