Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
