I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
either way he was missing a nipple.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
