I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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