I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize