Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
