He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm too high and old for this...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
