so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
