Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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