meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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