Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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