Quick, to the slutcave!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
