I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
