4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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