I look better un-naked...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
