4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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