i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
