She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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