just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
