He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
