There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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