This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
