There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize