Porn is love you can see.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
