Its about making memories worth repressing
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
