he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
