May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
