I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
