i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
