You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
