DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
