i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize