he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
